Orville's Splendid Sailors
(Session 7)
Going down the river we ran into a few humanoids that were in the overhanging trees.

Reox and Mizen tried to talk to them but there was no response, so Reox through a rock at them. They fired rocks back and Mizen decided shoot one of the items. Deadeye Mizen nails the figure and a childlike figure drops to the water.

Another child with a dagger jumped on the boat and told the two of them to save the other one. Reox jumped in the water and healed the one in the water and the arrows pop out, and Reox is amazingly able to calm the child down.

Sinbad and Orvell waken and come up on deck.

Reox gets up back up on the boat and gets Chops up there as well. They are not put off by Sinbad’s appearance. Mizen offers them some smokes. The children are not used to smoking.

Orvell asks if they want to join our group. They decline. Reox asks if they want to ride till we get to their family’s farm. They agree.

Sinbad started preaching to them and the fat one calmed down. The fat one keeps talking to Mizen about death and destruction.

We made it to the end of swamp. They mentioned something about “crows” watching the forest.

The swamp ends and the party can feel a large burden lifted off them.

A dark thick water creates whirlpools and shoots spouts up about 10ft into the air. Mizen and Sinbad realize they are water-weirds and they must make gold tribute to them or they shall attack. Mizen throws 5G and Sinbad throws 3G. The two water-weirds retreat into the swamp.

Reox calmed the kids down by lying poorly to them that their fathers died fighting.

Orvell again tries to get the children to join the crew.

Sinbad, Orvell, and Mizen embrace in a manly hug. Reox doesn’t join in and neither does Kimor. Mizen is embolden by the hug and runs to pants Kimor and with dexterous fingers undoes Kimor’s belt and fully removes the pants.
The party approaches the town of Northguard, which is the northern guard of the capitol Clayton. The guards in the town draw their bows towards the boat. When the party starts to get close a person comes out to the middle in half plate gear with a strawberry blond hair cut. He is sitting on the bridge and is smirking and talking to us.

He starts asking if there are more boats. Orville explains who the party is and the bride guard captain explains that he is very suspicious of us because the party came from the north. They explain that they have a message for the king and the captain has us dock the ship before the bridge. He looks at our documents but he is an idiot and it means nothing to him.

The captain starts questioning about other guards in the swamp and they let them know that they died. The captain finally decides to let them through into the town. The captains name is Kendrar Kendoor.

The town is mostly dwarven. Kendrar tells us to use a dwarven inn. He makes it sound as if he is helping us but really, he is keeping an eye on us. The dwarf owner lady welcomes them with a joke about candles. Sinbad and Orvillelaugh whole heartidly.

The dwarves in the inn are playing a game with runes and Mizen starts watching the game because he is familiar with it. The game is very much like the price is right. It is a drinking game.

Mizen knows how to play the game. The dwarves are drunk and very jovial.

The owner can make buttery biscuits which makes Orville and Sinbad extremely excited. Reox watches this whole scene take place and is just wondering if this is how all gnomes and tieflings interact with the world.

The biscuits are cheap in cost and cheap in taste. All of them are disappointed.

The owners name is Constantin. We all get rooms for free so long as Orville’s performance packs the house.

Sinbad telepathically teases Kimor.

Seraphine's Stand (session 6)

Here’s the wrap up for last session.

The party is gathered again on Kimor’s boat, bested by the hag, exhausted and perhaps worst of all utterly without biscuits after the wanton gluttony of the crew. They are faced with the decision to continue pursuing the hag or return to their mission south. They decide to rest for the night and choose their course the next day.

Sinbad suggests moving the boat away from the shore to protect against the hag sneaking on board. The party then realizes that the hag could already be on board and also their collective impotence in detecting her. They decide to move the boat away from shore.

Captain Kimor skillfully guides his boat out into the center of the river. Without further direction, the brilliant captain and ever loyal companion commands the fire mages to run the boat’s paddles in reverse so as to hold position relative to the shore while his companions rest and decide their next course.

Orville promptly goes to bed. As the remaining party members converse on deck a lantern appears among the trees not far from the shore they had just left. Then a male voice is heard crying for help. The voice and lantern seem to be moving hurriedly: coming closer to shore, and then moving off again.

Having just been tricked into helping a young maiden who was in fact the hag, the party hesitates.

Sparkling fire of many bright colors light up the swamp and the party glimpses a number of figures in the firry blast. Orville is roused by the commotion, now very near to the shore, and rejoins his companions on deck.

The party continues to hesitate. Orville wants to help; Sinbad doesn’t and talks of the importance of their mission south; Jampa reminds the party of the last person they attempted to help; Mizzen is swayed by each in turn.

The twang of bowstrings sways the party and they jump into immediate action. Jampa leaps to the shore and races into a scene of two skeletons armored and equipped in livery from the ancient North facing off with a male wood elf.

The skeletons sling their bows and close in on Jampa, who starts doing his fist dance on the nearest skeleton’s face. Sinbad blasts the second skeleton to dust from the boat, and then in his mirth tells the ever accommodating Kimor to clap for him. Mizzen stops firing his bow and joins in Kimor’s applause; however, the fire mages do not.

In this moment of victory the hag’s voice surrounds Jampa and the elf, ‘I followed this one. Now, meet my pet.’

Eyes appear in the gloom followed by a heaving shadow. A dreadful bronto-cow approaches the narrow strip of shore.

Orville, flying, arrives on scene to comfort the wood elf. Thus comforted, the elf focuses his powers and transforms into a giant 8ft silverback gorilla, and then pummels the remaining skeleton’s head and then body into dust.

The keen-eared Mizzen alerts Sinbad of the hag’s message. Buoyed by his recent success, Sinbad unleashes two blasts at the approaching beast. Both miss. Sinbad commands the ever accommodating Kimor to continue clapping, but now in sarcasm. Kimor in his first real mistake of the campaign refuses to clap and boasts that he might as well join the fight, if that’s all Sinbad’s got. Sinbad asks if he would be so kind and Kimor runs off to arm himself.

On shore, the bronto-cow continues to approach. The beast locks eyes with Jampa and takes him for a mind fuck. Jampa feels that his soul is in peril. He is laid bare. Only his extensive mental training shields him from utter destruction and with a great effort he is able to break the creatures gaze. The smell of the beast engulfs Jampa and the gorilla, who wretch. The hag taunts, ‘I hope you like my pet.’

Jampa signals to the gorilla to flee for the boat, and then leaps. He barely grasps the boats rail and hulls himself on deck. The gorilla leaps, but falls pitifully short. Sinbad taunts, ‘Ha ha! Get wrecked you stupid ape!’

Orville serenades the bronto-cow, which takes on a pondering stare and begins to move back into the swamp. The hag wails and Sinbad turns his taunts to her. He attempts to sell her insurance. She does not respond, most-likely surprised by the offer; however Sinbad gives up the sale due to its lunacy in this setting, and so we will never know if the hag was interested in purchasing insurance or not.

Orville, still flying, scoops the now wood elf from the water and laboriously flies back to the boat.

Sinbad again laughs at the situation, rousing Mizzen to laughter, until he sees Jampa’s expression and asks his health. Jampa tells the story of his near death.

With the thought of impending mortality hanging in the air, Kimor bursts onto deck prepared for war. Sinbad commends his contribution to the battle, and then tasks him with drying the wood elf, putting emphasis on the necessity of drying him even if the elf’s nudity is required, so as to avoid itching in the nethers. The ever accommodating Kimor objects to the sarcasm and nudity, and then chains the elf near the boilers to dry.

Mizzen and Jampa rest while Sinbad, Orville and Kimor joke the night away steering the boat steadily south, only sleeping when Mizzen wakes and takes the helm and command of the boat. The elf wakes and asks Mizzen to remove his chains. Mizzen refuses to leave his responsibility at the helm, so the elf changes into a scorpion and back to get out of the chains himself. He then tells his story to the ever attentive Mizzen, relating that he was traveling with the caravan that was attacked by the hag, he was heading north in search of an ingredient necessary for a potion or poison and that his home is in the north. Mizzen answers the elf’s questions and tells of his adventures with the wonderful group now known as Orville’s Splendid Sailors, of their mission south and that Mizzen’s home is in the forest of the south.

The boat begins to exit the swamp, Jampa joins Mizzen and the elf and the three spot three figures attempting to hide on the left bank of the river.

Seraphine's Stand (Session 5)

Here’s the wrap up from last session, boys. If I left something out, got something wrong or misspelled I’m sorry, please feel free to correct me.


Seraphine's Stand (Session 4)
The party had just finished having a real bonding moment. They’d all put their hands in the middle and declared themselves to be “Orville’s Splendid Sailors.” Even Kimor got in on it, even though one might expect him not to be super keen on being considered one of Orville’s sailors when he was captain of the ship. But maybe he was just sort of resigned to the idea that things were not in his control.

Orville, of course, was so jazzed that he leapt to the prow of the ship, put one knee up like Captain Morgan, drew his rapier, and pointed it straight ahead for hours (his low center of gravity makes this easier, but the party was nonetheless impressed by his core strength).

The OSS soon made it to the treeline. The swamp was difficult to see in, due to fog and the, I don’t know, trees, I guess. Kimor said that all hands would be required for lookout. “We can’t run into anything,” he told us. “It’s hard to see thirty feet past the edge of the boat.” Jontis and Ellimer even stopped firing the engine, forcing the boat to slow way down.

Sinbad volunteered to cast an hour-long Invisibility spell on Mizzan and Orville, first demanding that Mizzan promise not to use his invisibility for mischievous purposes, so that they could enter the swamp and search for the witch and her creatures of stitched-together flesh. Kimor, incredulous, asked if we were seriously going hunting for this thing. The group clarified that they were, and Orville, now invisible for the first time in his life, yanked down Kimor’s pants. It is unknown why he did so.

Orville flew above the trees and soon found a dozen nude and heavily scarred humanoids in a clearing, along with a larger, armored humanoid with glowing green eyes and a bow. Orville returned to the group before his invisibility wore off, and yanked Kimor’s pants down a second time. It is unknown why he did so. Orville also realized that he had possessed the ability to make himself invisible at any time, but he simply had never done so before.

Mizzan found the same group of humanoids, though he took a bit longer on foot. He also foraged a bit, and found some interesting-looking mushrooms. The OSS waited patiently for Mizzan to return with mushrooms and intel. Mizzan, having seen Orville yank Kimor’s pants down twice, and not fully understanding human customs, assumed that it was a good idea to do the same despite being fully visible. Kimor tried to fight him off, but Mizzan, earnestly thinking that he was doing something that all would enjoy, outmaneuvered the larger man and yanked the pants down. Kimor, angry, tightened his belt to an uncomfortable degree, granting him advantage on future checks against pantsings. Sinbad lost his temper a bit, and Mizzan was confused and pensive for several moments while Jampa and Sinbad scolded him for disrespecting a man who could easily abandon them in the swamp. Orville found the pantsing quite amusing. Sinbad gave Kimor one of the twelve biscuits he’d brought with him from the inn as an apology, but Kimor’s mood did not seem to improve much.

Mizzan then revealed his foraged mushrooms. Sinbad’s natural greed kicked in, and he decided to take advantage of Mizzan’s natural generosity and ask if he could eat one of the mushrooms. It made him a little ill, but not dangerously so, and a valuable lesson was learned by all. The friendship between Sinbad and Mizzan deepened, and everything was forgiven (by Sinbad, at least; it’s entirely possible that Mizzan still harbors secret grudges). Sinbad ate the second biscuit.

After discussing the situation, the group decided to try and see if any of the naked dudes still had any intelligence or could be returned to town for justice or treatment. The boat, with Kimor, Jontis, and Ellimer still on board, was left behind. The OSS marched in, Orville taking the lead with an aerial assault. He launched two musical fireballs, annihilating the armored figure and most of the undead with him. The rest of the group made short work of the rest, and Jampa pinned the last remaining undead so that it could be tied up. Once it was clear that there was no intelligence left in it, Jampa executed it. The armored figure was examined, and a piece of heraldry was found on its armor that signified its membership in a millenium-old army from the Northern ice lands. Orville appeared deeply affected by all the carnage, as he was not really keen on this whole “killing a lot of people” thing. It was his way, he explained, to use his words and his magic to get people to stop the fighting voluntarily. The rest of the group agreed that, if possible, they would try to capture the witch alive and avoid killing her.

Before the group could get really satisfied with how cool they were and how cool they were gonna be, someone ahead of three glowing lights approached from the South. At least, their voice did. It was a muddy blonde barefoot human woman, being chased by three orbs and two skeletons. Most of the group recognized immediately that something was off about the sound of the woman’s voice, but Sinbad thought she was on the level until Mizzan told him that she probably wasn’t.

The skeletons were easily dispatched, as was one of the orbs. The group dug deep into their Arcana checks and realized the orbs were will-o-wisps, and Orville put two of them out of commission with a handy spell for one minute.

The minute could have been used better. First, Mizzan and Sinbad had a quick discussion about the fact that Sinbad was a Tiefling, and that his mother was half-demon. The woman protested that there were surely more urgent things to discuss. The group quickly leveled accusations at the woman, pointing out that she couldn’t have been a survivor of the caravan as she claimed since those undead were probably the victims of that same caravan, and she revealed her true identity as the swamp witch. She vanished, and a third wisp appeared. With one wisp on Jampa, Mizzan, and Sinbad each, and Orville beginning to run low on spells, the group wasn’t in their best situation. After a few rounds of combat with the wisps, the witch reappeared on the edge of their vision. She drew a bag from somewhere, and from it, a massive creature made of various body parts from an unknown number of creatures pulled itself out. She repeated the trick, calling forth a second one, which also had a diadem on its head with an eye in the center. This second one stood by her as a bodyguard, while the first advanced on the party.

What will become of the remaining ten biscuits in Sinbad’s bag, left behind on the ship? Find out in the next thrilling adventure!!!!!!

Written by Mike

Seraphine's Stand (Session 3)

The session started off with the execution of the ogre that Orville had used Suggestion on the previous session. Sinbad was the one to do the deed however Orville expressed disagreement.

They continued down The Cut reaching another drawbridge that was hosting more ogres. But before they could reach it Rhian and Rorge, the owners of The Wayward Wanderer, had taken care of them. Rhian warned them about heading into Clipwood mentioning recent more brazen attacks by the evil things in the swamp. The party then took their offer to stay in The Wayward Wanderer for the night.

In the Wayward Wanderer the party ordered a decent amount of food. Orville himself ordered everything even a shot of Rorge’s Forge Whiskey which put him under for an hour or two. Meanwhile the party also chatted a bit with Taryn Dark-Wind, a famous Tiefling bard.

As Jampa asked Rhian for a bit more information about Clipwood and the recent attacks a scuffle broke out between Renstov, a human raised by the dwarves in Stonerift, and 3 other men. The party quieted the situation and talked more to Renstov who was part of a caravan through Clipwood that was attacked. He told of skeletons and also a large monster that looked like it had been stitched together. He asked the party to come with him to Stonerift and that he could get them through. The party considered it but decided they wanted to go the quickest way and also, if possible, deal with the problem in Clipwood.

The party left the following morning and that was were we left them.

Seraphine's Stand (Session 2)

The party was picked up by a rescue boat from Grendor’s Watch. They met Insel, a very old elf and also part of the Grendor’s Watch Council, waiting for them at the dock. This is also the same person to give them the original quest.

He took them through the keep of Grendor’s Watch and listened to the party’s story as they retold it. Seeming very nervous of the mention of a dragon he met with the rest of the council in another room.

Insel came back an hour later with two new comrades, Sinbad and ______. He then gave the party a choice: agree to another mission without any prior knowledge or step down with no hard feelings. Rigdar, feeling a bit over his head, decided to take his reward and begin his own brewery with the piece of land and favor he was owed. Insel sincerely thanked him and he was on his way.

Insel then made sure the party knew that if they accepted this next mission they would have to carry it out. He then informed them that they had to seek an audience with the king of The Steppe and Northern Icelands, King Barston. They were to tell him that, “Ice may soon meet sky.” He then outlined 4 ways to reach the capital, Clayton.

The party made their choice and were on their way after receiving 8 Teardrop Potions the next day. They left from the Watch on a steam galley manned by Kimor and his two elven magic users/engines, Jontis and Ellimer.

Within a day they had come upon the Royal Barston Family Memorial Bridge or as everyone calls it, “the Big H.” As it looks like an H when drawn up to allow passage for boats. They came across 4 ogres. One asked the party for 100 gold as a toll. Orville cast an illusion of the gold and it almost worked but the bridge was being drawn slowly and he was getting a bit nervous so he asked for a diversion. Sinbad using a very large voice started yelling at the ogre causing him to grow agitated and finally attacking.

The party dispatched 3 of the ogres and charmed one. Now they must decide what to do with him and continue down The Cut.

Seraphine's Stand (Session 1)

The party had their boat smashed by what seemed to be ice on the way to Seraphine’s Stand. They managed to swim/drift their way to a cliff face and pull themselves up. With their armor and furs soaking and body temperature steadily dropping they found their way to the port.

At the port, they found it empty but with several clues they realized that the workers/guardsmen had rushed to Seraphine’s Stand in a hurry. The party decided to camp the night in the port though to warm themselves up and melt away their exhaustion. However, during the night several ice wolves began slamming on the door. Orville managed to scare them off with a well timed illusion.

The next day, they made their way further into the island to their destination, Seraphine’s Stand. On the way, they were attacked by the same ice wolves the previous night. With three blasts of ice breath the wolves took down Rigdar in a hurry. Orville managed to charm one and Jampa with a flurry of elbows dispatched the other two. Rigdar, coming to his senses, coup de grased the charmed one.

Arriving in the Stand they found bodies stacked high in the center of town. All frozen solid but with their skulls opened up and brains removed. Some had been tied up on makeshift (X)’s seemingly in a cult like manner. Around this time they began to hear an ominous echo coming from the Glacial Wall, echoing the word, “YOU” every once in a while. The group holed up in a supply store to wait until light came.

The next day they made their way to the Glacial Wall, towering over the Stand. At the base of the wall they saw several Grimlocks and what looked to be a small version of a Beholder (actually a Spectator). Not taking any chances, they went in with an ask-questions-later attitude, completely decimating the foes.

They made their way past a magical door, having their deepest fears displayed to each party member. As the walked in, they heard a strange voice in their mind. Making their way into the Wall they found a secret door and what lay in that secret door? A huge room and in the center encased in a column, none other than an Ancient White Dragon.

This turned out to be a ruse by a rather peculiar Mind Flayer. After a bit of banter, he launched into an attack dropping Orville instantly. Through sheer will power (and some flying elbows) Jampa and Rigdar were able to defeat the hideous creature by the skin of their teeth! If Orville had not have given them such an inspiring speech beforehand who knows what would have happened.

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